Rediscovering Our Authentic Selves: A Journey Through Teshuva
This article is an adaptation from a sermon delivered on Yom Kippur, exploring the themes of unmasking and teshuva—returning to our authentic selves.
The idea of teshuva is often associated with repentance, but its essence is more deeply about returning—a return to our core, our purpose, and the life we are meant to live authentically. Yom Kippur offers a moment to pause and ask ourselves: Who are we when the pressures and expectations of the world are stripped away? What does it mean to come back to ourselves, to one another, and to the Divine?
For those who fast, the act serves as a way to step back from daily distractions and focus on something larger than ourselves. But for those unable to fast, the same effect can be achieved through prayer, reflection, or any other personal practice. The language we use to describe this focus—whether it’s "God" or "the Divine"—is secondary to the meaning it holds for you. These terms reflect the different ways we perceive the sacred.
Fasting helps to quiet the noise of the material world, turning our attention inward and toward the Divine. For those who don’t fast traditionally, contemplation or silence can serve the same purpose. In redirecting ourselves to the Divine, we naturally turn to one another, recognizing that the Divine encompasses all of us.
Rabbi Aaron Shmuel Tamares taught that this awareness reminds us to treat others with kindness and compassion, knowing that we are all created in the image of the Divine. It’s in our interactions with each other that we truly encounter the Divine presence. For this reason, when we’ve wronged others, we must seek reconciliation directly, not solely through Divine forgiveness.
Whether your conception of God is a personal, watchful being, or whether you view the Divine as a force of interconnectedness and motion, these ideas remain relevant. Each interpretation urges us to see beyond ourselves and into the shared web of human experience. For me, the Divine is the bond that connects us—the sacred relationships we create with one another.
When we examine these connections, it becomes clear that our relationships with others are essential to how we experience the Divine. The Divine is not a distant entity but something we access in the everyday moments of our lives and through our interactions. This is why Yom Kippur stresses mending relationships between people, not just seeking forgiveness from the Divine.
Philosopher Martin Buber illustrated this through the concept of the I-Thou relationship—when two individuals fully and authentically encounter each other, the sacred manifests in that space between them. It’s in these genuine interactions that we meet the Divine, and it is through our authenticity that we can foster these encounters.
But how can we truly connect with others if we are not first true to ourselves?
As someone who is both autistic and physically disabled, I know firsthand the difficulty of masking—hiding parts of myself to fit in with societal norms. Masking means changing how I move, talk, or express myself because I’ve learned that the world doesn’t always accept people like me. This constant performance is draining, both mentally and physically, and it creates a profound disconnect from my authentic self.
In the context of autism, unmasking is the act of stepping away from the roles we’ve adopted to survive in a world designed for neuronormativity. It’s about returning to the person we’ve always been, often concealed for protection. In this sense, unmasking is a deeply personal form of teshuva —a return to our true selves and a reconnection with the Divine by embracing those parts of us that have been suppressed.
Yet masking is not unique to autistic individuals. Many of you can likely relate to the experience of hiding parts of yourselves. Whether you're disabled, queer, or part of a marginalized community, you understand the pressures of masking. Even those outside these communities often hide aspects of their identities in order to fit in, be accepted, or feel safe. However, this distance from our true selves doesn’t just affect us personally—it separates us from others and the Divine.
Jewish tradition speaks to the power of living authentically. Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Pshischa emphasized the importance of following one’s own path in service of the Divine rather than imitating others. He believed that each person has a unique mission, and true spirituality is found by honoring that individual path. External displays of piety, he argued, are meaningless if they do not reflect one’s inner truth. Authenticity, he taught, mirrors the Divine—just as God is One, each of us is a distinct expression of that Oneness. Only through honesty with ourselves can we be truthful in our relationships with others and the Divine.
True connection with the Divine starts with being honest with ourselves. Only when we embrace our authentic selves can we genuinely connect with others. Authenticity is the foundation.
This brings us back to the work of Yom Kippur. It’s not just about seeking forgiveness or repentance, but about returning—returning to who we are at our core. It’s about shedding the layers of performance and societal expectations, and unmasking to reveal our authentic selves. Without that connection to our true selves, we remain distant from others and from the Divine.
During this period of teshuva, unmasking is a crucial element. It’s about rejecting the roles we’ve been playing for survival and returning to the self we’ve hidden for safety. This process involves honestly evaluating our needs and desires, and recognizing where we’ve masked to have those needs met. The goal is to shift toward meeting those needs in sustainable, authentic ways. When we reconnect with our authentic selves, we also deepen our relationships with others and with the Divine.
Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of the Reconstructionist Movement, taught that sin is not merely breaking Divine law, but a disruption between us and the Divine. Atonement, then, is the restoration of harmony—bringing us back into alignment with the Divine and offering peace and encouragement. Kaplan explained that sin is a failure to live up to the best within ourselves, which means our souls fall out of tune with the greater Divinity of the world. In betraying our ideals, we also betray our connection to the Divine spark within us and within others.
The Talmud teaches that on Yom Kippur, the Divine tears up our decrees, but the Mahzor speaks of something even more profound: transformation. Yom Kippur is not just about changing the world around us—it’s about transforming how we view ourselves. When we shift our relationship with ourselves, we alter how we interact with the world. This inner transformation—this unmasking—leads to more genuine relationships with others and a closer connection to the Divine.
Imagine a world where no one has to mask. A world where we can all be our full selves—whether we are neurodivergent, disabled, queer, Jewish, or otherwise—and know we will be loved and accepted. We can build that world in our communities. You may not yet have someone with whom you feel you can be fully yourself, but those spaces are out there, waiting to be discovered or created.
Ask yourself: Are you the kind of person who makes others feel safe enough to be themselves? Do your actions and words invite others to drop their masks? Can your family, friends, or colleagues be their authentic selves with you without fear of judgment? What steps can you take to help those around you feel seen and valued?
Small actions—like offering a kind word, truly listening, or being vulnerable about your own struggles—can open the door to authenticity. It’s about creating space for others to express their true selves without fear. This process takes effort, compassion, and an open heart, but it is one of the greatest gifts we can offer.
By creating these spaces for authenticity, we allow others to unmask, and this in turn has a ripple effect. As we open ourselves up to genuine connection, we build communities where each person is valued for who they truly are. These communities of trust become places where the Divine spark in each person is honored and allowed to shine.
This is the heart of teshuva—a return to who we are, without fear or shame. As we create these spaces, we help others return to themselves and bring the world closer to what it was always meant to be: a place where the Divine spark in every soul can shine brightly. The world needs more of this. The Divine calls on us to bring our authentic selves into the world.
So, I invite you to reflect: Do you have someone with whom you can be completely yourself? If so, treasure that relationship. Nurture it, because it is sacred. And if you haven’t yet found that person, start with yourself. It is in those moments of authentic connection—whether with others or within ourselves—that we encounter the Divine. Together, we can create a world where everyone is free to live their truth, where masks are no longer necessary, and where the beauty of every soul is fully expressed.
